Relocated
cya
Jh, Thursday, November 27, 2008 6:13 AM
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Jam to stay alive.
The band is another of the many commitments i have in my hectic life right now. But, unlike the rest, i dont see it as a liability . It is really important to me. It makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel that i'm being myself. It gets me high and more importantly it makes forget about my troubles and the recent traumatic events. I think i'll be a lot worse emotionally if not for the regular jamming sessions we had. The band gave me everything i'm looking for. I'm really happy for the development of the band, I couldn't ask for more.
I don't usually express my emotions honestly, you'll always see me with a smile. Neither do i talk about my problems.
Hence all these jamming sessions and my guitar serves as a channel for me to release all the brutally honest emotions hidden and buried deep inside me.
Jamming open the floodgates of creative energy. Jamming keeps me alive, spiritually.
Jh, Saturday, November 01, 2008 3:11 PM
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i hope you're happy now.
what the fuck is wrong with people. Are human beings are evil and unforgiving in nature?
I would like to remember you as a different person.You're not making it any easier for me. Fuck you
I think i'm sleeping too little.
Jh, Tuesday, October 28, 2008 6:04 PM
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the wind cries mary
the chilling winds made me feel empty about my recent episode with her. Havent seen her for quite a few day, wondering if shes intentionally avoiding me. I could care less.
But it seems, that i'm the one whos trying to avoid her, forget about her. I think i've been viewing this quite more negatively that it should have been.
After all, there are good things to remember, really sweet things.
my blog have been so negative for these few months, i realise i write too much of my sad days, there were really sweet days during that period which i missed out on this blog.
nevertheless it feels really heartwarming to read my previous entries since the start of this episode, reliving the sweet days
I cant believe that i'm gonna say this, but i cant wait to go to school. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day, but i know i will enjoy myself.
Music seems like the only thing that keeps me sane
Jh, Monday, October 27, 2008 2:32 PM
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Get out, get free.
I've been stuck in my room the whole day writing my term paper, such that i hate my room so much, it makes me uneasy and claustraphobic, sometimes it feels like i'm suffocating. Then i realise its not just the room, its the whole house i'm living in. I really do need to get out of the house, staying in here is killing me. I focus poorly during study time at home. I cant stay at home anymore
I need to get out and get heard, experience the feeling of being free again.
I get this weird feeling of rejuvenation and i run down the bukit timah road. It feels good
And i cant imagine how just a few years ago i can lock my my room more than 12 hours a day to play computer games. It seems i'm no longer as interested in computer games as before, i want to live my life productively.
Jh, Sunday, October 26, 2008 4:52 PM
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self denial
Its been 2 weeks, though its getting better, i still do think of her every now and then. There are many things in my life right now that reminds me of her, it is impossible to get rid of them, and somehow i dont wanna forget those memories.
Come to think of it, i've never exposed how emotionally vulnerable i am to anyone else.
And. i hate how people declare openly that they're unloved, or they had the empty feeling associated to it. The fact is, we're human, we ALL go thru that stage. The worse thing to do is to take people's feelings for granted while immersing yourself in self-denial.
why do we keep pursuing things when we know that we're gonna get it
and my god, i cant believe i can actually relate to this song to a rather disturbing degree.
"Sorry"
Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:
This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry!
Jh, Saturday, October 25, 2008 5:38 AM
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control, commitment , challenge
Since yesterday ,I've been feeling a sense of power and control in my life. I guess things are gona get better after all.
I'm pretty much overwhelm with commitments to my my academia, band , cca and my personal well-being. I cant afford to go into another state of depression and exhaust myself emotionally. Therefore,it is with utmost importance that i resolve whatever disturbance/problems that is troubling me right now. And thankfully this sense of power and control seems to come at the right time.
And what the fuck is the history department up to, releasing another last minute term paper.
Jh, Thursday, October 23, 2008 3:11 PM
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